


We Are All Just Confused

by CelestialTitania



Category: Miraculous Ladybug
Genre: Crack, Gen, Parody, don't take this seriously
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2020-09-04
Updated: 2020-09-04
Packaged: 2021-03-07 02:00:21
Rating: General Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 2,564
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/26279050
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/CelestialTitania/pseuds/CelestialTitania
Summary: Marinette had reached her breaking point and it was time she told everyone how much they hurt her. She was going to start with the people that hurt her most. But where was her first victim, er…she meant ex-friend who needed to see the light?Marinette is angry and she's ready to tell everyone. Why don't they know what she's talking about though?
Relationships: Adrien Agreste | Chat Noir/Marinette Dupain-Cheng | Ladybug if you squint
Comments: 6
Kudos: 69





	We Are All Just Confused

**Author's Note:**

> So I got mad at all the fandom salt and wrote a parody as to how I think the classmates would react to Saltinette. It’s mainly crack with some mentions of how far the salt goes. Pretty sure I’ve kept it pretty mild though, considering I stopped reading fics that salted the class ages ago. Not to be taken seriously or against anyone in particular.

Marinette walked into the school with her head held high. She was hurt, tired and felt so alone. She had reached her breaking point and it was time she told everyone how much they hurt her.

She had debated whether she should make an announcement to the class, which would tell them that she was over them, but decided a personal message to each person would be a better choice. After all, how else would they know they really hurt her by choosing Liar Rossi over Marinette.

Marinette looked around the room. She was going to start with the people that hurt her most. But where was her first victim, er…she meant ex-friend who needed to see the light?

Alya Cesaire. Marinette took in a deep breath and marched up to Alya who was busy working on her blog. The blog that only took off because _she_ got Alya an interview with Ladybug.

The fact that she was Ladybug and chose Alya as a reporter because she felt most comfortable with Alya, was a fact that Marinette was choosing to ignore. 

Marinette cleared her throat, but Alya was too engrossed in her blog to notice. She cleared her throat again. Still no response. “Alya,” Marinette finally said loudly, causing the other girl to jump.

Alya looked up, “Marinette! How’s it going?” Her voice was happy and innocent, as if she had no idea of the betrayal between them.

“I’m here to tell you that our friendship is over!”

Alya blinked at her, then squinted. “Have you been akumatized?”

“Now you won’t believe me over this either?!” Marinette was outraged. 

“Believe you?” Alya looked confused for a second. “What do you mean? I always believe you. But since you have no reason to end our friendship, I think it’s fair to question whether you’ve been akumatized.”

“I’m moving on Alya, you should too!” Marinette refused to answer Alya’s questions and turned around to dramatically leave before bumping into Nino.

“Hey dudette!” Nino greeted her enthusiastically. Marinette stopped and looked at him. “Nino how long have we been friends?”

Nino frowned and pushed his hat upwards. “Since grade school I guess? Why?”

“Since grade school! And yet, you couldn’t believe me about Lie-la?”

“Lila? What does she have to do with it?” Nino glanced at Alya, completely confused. Alya gave him a bewildered shrug and informed him of recent events.

“You broke up with Alya? Why?!” Nino was completely flabbergasted. “Are you akumatized?”

“Why does everyone keep asking me that?” Marinette stamped her foot in frustration. “Why can’t I just stand up for myself?”

“What is all the fuss about Dupain-Cheng? I need peace and quiet, tell them Sabrina,” Chloe commanded, having drifted over after hearing all the commotion. The red-headed girl quickly nodded, explaining something about Chloe having a headache.

“Oh, I’m sorry Chloe. Didn’t mean to bother you,” Marinette sincerely apologized. Everyone’s jaw dropped.

“Did you just _apologize_ ? To _Chloe_?!”

“Definitely akumatized,” Alya concluded. 

“I am not! Chloe is just my only real friend in this class!”

Chloe, quite frankly, looked horrified. “I wouldn’t be friends with you, if you were the last person on Earth!”

“Aww, I love you too Chloe!”

“Marinette’s lost it,” Sabrina whispered in horror. 

Marinette cheerfully ignored Sabrina so she could grin at Chloe, after all Sabrina had just said their inside joke. Chloe recoiled in disgust.

“Sabrina. I can’t deal with Dupain-Cheng’s madness today. We’re taking a sick day!” With that, Chloe walked out of the room and Sabrina quickly followed, much to Marinette’s dismay. Then she shook her head, scolding herself.

“No Marinette. Everyone deserves a day off. Being in this class takes a lot out of you.”

“What’s wrong with Marinette?” Rose asked fear in her voice. Marinette whirled around angrily. 

“What’s wrong with me? What’s _wrong_ with me?” She shrieked. “You have some nerve asking me that after destroying my personal property!”

“Me?” Rose looked taken aback. “Marinette if I destroyed something of yours I’m so sorry! It was an accident!”

“Don’t yell at Rose,” Juleka mumbled behind her. “She didn’t mean to.”

“Oh that is just rich,” Marinette laughed sarcastically, whilst the others exchanged confused glances. “Tossing a bucket of water on me and ruining my sketchbook. That was just an accident, right _Alix_? And so was pushing me down the stairs? Excluding me from all social gatherings?”

Alix’s mouth fell open when her name was announced. Then she frowned. “Um Marinette? Your sketchbook is on your desk. And I’ve never pushed you down the stairs or done anything to your sketchbook,” she added quickly.

Marinette looked lost for a moment before taking a breath to recover. “Clearly, that’s another sketchbook not the one I’m talking about. And yes, you did! While everyone else stood around and laughed! All because apparently I’m a terrible bully to your precious Lila!”

“What, laugh? After you got hurt? Who would be so terrible!” Rose gasped.

“Indeed. Who _would_ be so terrible?” Marinette said pointedly, but Rose only seemed more confused. In fact everyone did. 

“But no one’s done anything like that. If you did fall, none of us were there. Did you have a bad dream dude?” Nino asked finally. “Or maybe it was people from a different class?”

“Oh sure. Of course I’m the one who’s wrong. I’m Marinette and everything I do is just the worst!”

“Are you alright Marinette?” A concerned voice came from behind her. Adrien Agreste’s voice.

“No, Agreste I am not fine!” Marinette stalked towards Adrien who seemed concerned and confused at what was happening. Everyone else followed behind her.

“Are you upset I’ve stopped taking your precious high road?”

Her words seemed to only confuse Adrien more. “Did something happen?”

Marinette took in a deep breath in order to compose herself, while her classmates glanced at each other. Finally, Nino stepped forward to give Adrien a recap.

“What?” Adrien gasped. “But why? I don’t remember any of that happening!”

“Because it didn’t,” Alix rolled her eyes.

Marinette who had been patiently allowing everyone to tell Adrien lost her cool. “It _did_ happen! And you who promised to help me out, ignored me! Just take the high road Marinette, like doing that has ever helped. But who cares about me right? So long as everyone else is happy! I can’t believe I ever liked you!”

“B-but none of what you said ever happened! You know I would help you if it had, not that anyone here is even capable of doing such things!” Adrien protested.

“Confession just sailed over his head huh?” Alix muttered to Alya, in an aside.  
“This is what you call the truly dense,” Alya agreed. 

“Deny it after the fact all you want!” Marinette yelled. Poor Adrien looked devastated.

“I can’t watch,” Nino lowered his cap over his eyes. Or tried to anyway, Alya stopped him before he could. 

“We have to stop this!”

Nino, Alix and the others all turned to Alya expectantly. She shrank back. “I don’t know how though.” They all groaned.

Meanwhile, Marinette’s tirade had brought out students from other classes, including Marc, who was standing with Nathaniel, Aurore, Mirelle and Ondine, who was smiling and waving at Kim who had walked in.

Marinette gave a huff. “I can’t believe I trusted you.” With those words, she walked away from him leaving Adrien to gape behind her.

Nino slung an arm over Adrien’s shoulders to comfort him; he was still looking as though the world was ending, and turned him to look at Marinette who was looking in between Marc and Ondine. Alix was wincing, ready to hear more of Marinette’s vitriol.

Marinette had come to a decision, as she moved quickly towards Marc. They all tried to silently tell him to leave but Marc only peered at them in confusion, until Marinette was standing right before him.

“Marc! What are you doing with _him_?” Here she glanced at Nathaniel with a fierce glare. Nathaniel stepped back in surprise.

Marc looked at Nathaniel uncertainly, then back at Marinette. “Huh?”

“I thought you two weren’t friends anymore?” Nathaniel stiffened at Marinette’s words and turned to Marc worriedly. 

“Not friends?” Marc echoed. “Why wouldn’t we be friends?” 

Marinette groaned. “Oh not you too! Why doesn’t anyone remember what’s going on?!”

“I think that’s our line.” Aurore remarked, raising her eyebrows at Marinette. She looked back at her, acting as if she were the only sane one there.

“Children? What is going on?” Mme. Bustier had come outside, to the students’ relief and Marinette’s anger.

Silently the children all pointed to Marinette and Mme Bustier turned towards her. Marinette seethed.

“Marinette? What’s going on?”

“Mme. What’s going on is that I have had enough. I refuse to be the _good role model_ for everyone else, which in reality is just being a doormat while others treat me in any way they like!” Marinette was ranting once again.

With each Mme. Bustier paled and stared in horror. “But I don’t remember any of that happening.”

“It didn’t.” The others chorused.

“Yes, it did!” Marinette crossed her arms angrily.

“Just to recap,” Alix began. “You hate all of us and Mme. Bustier and your ‘real’ friends are Chloe, Marc, Mirelle, Aurore and Ondine?” 

“And Luka,” Marinette added, nodding.

“Yeah, I got nothing,” Alix shrugged.

“U-um,” Juleka mumbled trying to get something out. They all turned to her, making her blush terribly.

“You can do it Juleka! Tell us!” Rose encouraged.

Before Juleka could say anything though, a bright and cheerful voice cut in. “Hi everyone! Why are you all standing out here?”

It was Marinette, smiling at all of them. She seemed a little confused but as kind and sweet as ever.

“Hey girl,” Alya waved distractedly, still staring at Marinette who was glaring at all of them.

It took them all a moment. Then they all shouted as one. “Marinette!” Both girls jumped in surprise. “What? What is it?” Marinette asked before her gaze fell on...her. Marinette screamed. 

“Who? What? _How?_ Akuma?” She shot out quickly.

Alix walked up to her. “First do you hate us?”

“Hate you? For what?” Marinette asked in bewilderment.

“For everything!” Marinette yelled at herself.

“I’m confused.”   
“Seconded.”  
“Me too.”

The kids and teachers all agreed, staring at the two very different Marinettes. 

Mean Marinette, as she had been dubbed, was yelling at Sweet Marinette, named for her kindness and constant supply of cookies.

“How can you be so naive! They’re just using you!”

Sweet Marinette shrunk back before gathering her courage. It was rather daunting being yelled at by yourself. 

“They’re my friends who are nothing but kind, helpful and the best people I know!”

“Clearly you haven’t met very many people.”

“S-says you!” Juleka spoke up. “You’re friends with Chloe!”

“What?!” Sweet Marinette gasped. Alya patted her on the arm, she had so much to tell her bestie about what Mean Marinette had been spouting all morning. Honestly though, akuma or something else, they were all just very relieved that Marinette was still their friend and in fact did _not_ hate them.

Sweet and Mean Marinette were about to continue arguing with a bright blue portal opened up and a rabbit-themed superhero stepped out.

“Bunnix!” Both Marinettes, Alix and Adrien gasped in surprise. Alya exchanged a glance with Nino. How did they know about a new superhero before her?

Nino pulled her away before she could start an interrogation. “Not the time babe.” Alya deflated but accepted that he was right.

“You!” The superhero was apparently named Bunnix, pointed at the Marinettes. “Which one of you hates everyone here?”

“Her!” Sweet Marinette immediately pointed at her counterpart.

“I don’t hate _everyone_ here,” Mean Marinette tried to correct. 

“Whatever,” Bunnix rolled her eyes. “Into the portal you go.”

Mean Marinette tried to protest but Bunnix refused to hear it. She picked her up and threw her in. They all winced. She may have been mean, but that must’ve hurt.

“She’ll be fine,” Bunnix waved them off when she noticed their worried expressions.

“Who was that?” Nathaniel spoke up, a little cross.

“Marinette of course.” Bunnix took in their puzzled expressions and how they kept glancing at the Marinette who was still here.

“Ahh, I mean Marinette of a different timeline.”

“Care to explain?” Alya cut in, her phone ready to record. She just couldn’t handle not knowing more. She’d tried her best but the journalist in Alya compelled her to question.

“My miraculous gives me the power to travel through time. I also keep an eye on the timeline, make sure it’s going the right way. That Marinette was from a timeline where things went _very_ wrong. Unfortunately, accidentally,” Bunnix stressed, “she escaped the waiting pod and jumped in here. So sorry for the confusion. Feel free to return to your normal lives.”

With that Bunnix jumped into another portal and was gone. There was a moment of silence while they all took in what had just happened.

“Well, any universe where Marinette hates us isn’t a universe I want to be in,” Adrien declared, turning poor Marinette bright pink.

“You said it dude. What a nightmare. How about we all go have some fun? I think we deserve it after all that,” Nino grinned. They all agreed and began to leave. 

“Not so fast!” Mme. Bustier’s voice stopped them in their tracks. “Nice try,” she smiled at Nino. “Time for class.” She ushered the other kids to their own classes and brought her students into the classroom.

They watched Mme. Bustier think for a moment and then sigh. “Oh alright. I’ll give you the first couple periods as free time. But we will have class after lunch!” 

They all cheered. Marinette gave Alya a hug, much to Alya’s surprise.

“I’ll never break up with you,” Marinette smiled at her.

Alya grinned back, “Right back at ya girl!” 

Now things were back to normal. Alya shuddered once thinking of Mean Marinette. What a terrible timeline.

**Omake**

“Let me go save her!” Marinette was yelling at Bunnix, who wasn’t paying her any attention. “She works and works and what does she get? Nothing! Absolutely nothing!”

“Uh huh,” Bunnix muttered. “Now where is that time hole?”

“They owe her hundreds of dollars!”

“We live in France, we use euros.” Bunnix shook her head. What on earth had happened in that timeline, that they switched currencies?

“I’m the reason anything fun happens! Or I mean we are! You think they will get an all expense trip half-way around the world? They won’t without me!”

“Of course,” she drawled sarcastically. “Oh there it is! I finally found it!”

“I design for all the celebrities! I’m famous! I know superheroes from other places and everyone loves me!”

“Hey Marinette? Stand over there, would you? You can keep yelling.”

Marinette looked at where Bunnix was pointing and shrugged as she moved to where she was instructed.

“Where was I? Oh yes. If they think they can get away with asking for babysitting and a million other favours at any timeee—!” Marinette screamed as Bunnix pushed her into the wormhole, she originally came from. She smiled and waved while Marinette cursed her.

“Well that’s done with. How about I get us some lunch?” Bunnix glanced at her watch. “You like Indian right?” With that Bunnix moved on with her life, never giving Mean Marinette another thought.

**Author's Note:**

> The omake was my favourite part of this. Also the pov weirdly changed from Saltinette to Alya, I know. It just happened and I couldn't be bothered to fix it once I'd noticed. This is basically me ranting about fandom salt anyway.


End file.
